


Broken and Lost

by Child_OTKW



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Reverse Falls, Around 16, Canon Divergence - Weirdmageddon, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Kidnapping, M/M, Obsessive Behavior, Reverse Bill Cipher, Reverse Gideon - Freeform, Reverse Pacifica - Freeform, Reverse Pines Twins, breakdowns, instability, unhealthy relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 12:03:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8713117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Child_OTKW/pseuds/Child_OTKW
Summary: One of her hands unconsciously lifted away from her side, as if reaching for something, only to fall back in disappointment. It was not the first time Pacifica has seen Mabel do that, and it broke her heart, just a little, each time Mabel went to grasp a hand that was no longer there.

  She had never really considered just what it must be like for the girl, to have lost the only person in the world that she had never been without. To have the only one she could rely on without fail not be there when she needed him most. She had always noticed, fleetingly, how closely Dipper and Mabel would stand together, how they would bump hands or shoulders unconsciously. As if there was some sort of magnetic pull between them. 

  But never had she considered the ramifications of that dependence they had on each other to always be there.
Will escaped captivity, takes over the world, and kidnaps Dipper. Pacifica and Gideon join Mabel, and try to save the world and her brother.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I am way too invested in this fandom, and writing this made me feel sad emotions. I delve a little into the relationship between Mabel and Dipper in this one, since I see them as being as close in the Reverse AU as they are in the canon, and I tried to mirror that as best I could. Let me know what you think :)

Pacifica ducked to avoid the gaze of an eye-bat, hiding behind an overturned car. The creature lingered for a few moments before it flew on, and she sighed softly in relief. It would not do to be captured after managing to find some rather good supplies during this run.

With one last glance around her, she darted towards the trees and began to scurry her way to the mine opening. It was growing dark, the sky was now a blood-red as opposed to the almost pinkish colour from before, and the shadows themselves seemed to come alive.

She quickened her pace, eager to be back amongst the other survivors and out of sight. 

She followed the directions she had memorised by this point until she came upon the outcrop of rocks. Pacifica quickly knocked the passcode on the rocks and watched as the outcrop simmered, before disappearing altogether. She moved through the opening and was enveloped in total darkness.

A person appeared in front of her, flashlight shining blindingly in her eyes. Pacifica waited patiently for the guard to finish her check and gratefully moved onwards when he waved her through.

It was a short walk over the rusted tracks, but she found it comforting. It had only been a month since Will’s hostile takeover, but already they had grown so used to their new lives. 

She could hear voices now, and one in particular made her smile.

Gideon. Her little cousin. 

She rounded a corner and stepped into the chamber, the dark of the tunnel slipping away as the soft lights illuminated everything for her. 

A few people murmured greetings to her as she entered, but most were too focussed on their own tasks. 

“Pacifica!” Gideon called from his seat, waving at her excitedly. She returned his grin and made her way over, shrugging off her full bag as she went. She passed it off to Wendy, the moody teen grumbling but sorting through the supplies without further complaint. 

“Hey Lil’ Gid,” she greeted, ruffling his white hair affectionately. She glanced at the quiet girl next to her cousin and bit her lip in indecision. “Hey Mabel…” she said softly. 

The brown haired girl did not even acknowledge her, though to be fair, the girl did not really acknowledge anything these days. Ever since this entire mess had begun she had been withdrawn and silent, a stark difference from her normal confident, cruel self.

Pacifica wanted nothing more than to give the other a hug, if only to erase the look of loss in her eyes, but she knew that Gideon was the only person Mabel could stand having physical contact with. Ever since Dipper – 

She cut herself off from thinking of the other.

“How was your run?” Gideon asked her, not looking particularly bothered by Mabel’s lack of reply. Gideon had been staying close to the brown haired girl since they had found her screaming and crying for her brother in the middle of the forest.

Pacifica could still remember the terrified, wild gleam in Mabel’s eyes when they had stumbled on her, drawn by the noise. The girl had been filthy, her performance clothes torn and covered in patches of blood, her normally luscious hair was tangled and filled with leaves and twigs.

But that was nothing compared to the unending torrent of tears that had streamed down her cheeks as she collapsed in front of them, mumbling for Dipper to _please come back, I need you brother, please don’t take him Will._

It had been a sobering moment for them. 

But regardless of all the torment and pain that Mabel and Dipper had caused them, they had taken the girl in and given her sanctuary.

“It was good, I managed to find an untouched cellar filled with all this canned food. I grabbed what I could and marked it on the map, tomorrow I’ll lead a couple more people to it and we’ll get all we can.”

“That’s awesome!” Her cousin grinned, and the sight of his honest excitement made her chest feel lighter than it had all day. Nothing could keep Gideon down, and Pacifica would go to the ends of the earth to make sure he stayed this way. “Can I come?” 

“Oh Gid,” she hesitated, hands hovering awkwardly. “I don’t know, it’s very dangerous out there.” While technically they were the same age, she always felt the need to shelter Gideon. Letting him go out into the middle of the bloody apocalypse would be a horrendous decision on her part. 

Gideon scowled up at her, “I can defend myself you know, I’ve faced a lot of dangerous things Paz.” Unwilling, both their eyes drifted to Mabel. She and Dipper were easily the most dangerous foes they had gone toe-to-toe with, at least, until Will had escaped.

Pacifica’s eyes drifted down to the ground as guilt clogged her heart. 

“I just don’t want you to get hurt Gid, I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you.” The _‘like what happened to Dipper’_ was unspoken but easily caught. For a moment, Gideon’s expression faltered as he peeked at Mabel to see if she had reacted, and a part of Pacifica felt awful for trying to manipulate the smaller boy.

She knew that despite everything, Mabel and Gideon did care about each other – in their own weird would-not-touch-their-relationship-with-a-ten-foot-pole kind of way. She knew that seeing the other girl so broken was affecting him, and she knew that right now, Gideon was imagining her in Mabel’s place.

It was a horrible, terrible, cruel thing to do. But if that was the only way to make Gideon not take stupid risks, then Pacifica would use it.

“I…” He stopped and frowned, “I don’t like that you keep going out by yourself though.” He mumbled, fingers twisting in his shirt nervously. “What if something happened to _you_?”

Pacifica placed her hand on his shoulder and squeezed comfortingly. “Come on Gid, it’s not like I’m always by myself out there. I go out with other gatherers all the time.” _I’d rather something happened to me, then to you_ , she thought to herself, but never let those words pass through her clenched teeth.

“Well –”

The chamber shook. 

Pacifica stumbled as the ground rocked dangerously. For one moment everything was still, then a scream from the tunnel echoed into them, the noise sharp and clear and filled with absolute fear.

The people in the chamber jumped to their feet, their voice raising as panic took hold of them. They all knew what had happened. Their hideout had been found.

Instantly, it was chaos within their haven. Dozens of people began running wildly, people grabbing their possessions and bolting in every direction. 

Pacifica grabbed her bag from where Wendy had dropped it with one hand, and Gideon with the other. The boy resisted for a moment, before letting her drag him away. Pacifica grunted at how heavy he was, and looked back in surprise. 

Gideon’s free hand was wrapped around Mabel’s and they were dragging the other girl as well. She almost wanted to cry at Gideon’s instinct to save others even in the midst of this.

“We need to get outside!” Gideon’s voice was high and cracking as the nightmares began filling the chamber, chasing the scattered humans like it was a game. The terror in his words was unmistakeable. It made Pacifica want to shield him from all this wrongness.

It must have awoken something in Mabel as well, because not a moment later, there was a flash of blue and suddenly they were outside in the forest.

Pacifica dropped to the ground and groaned as she fought to not throw up. She felt like her insides had been systematically rearranged. Next to her, Gideon was on his side and shaking horribly.

“Sorry,” a voice said from above them, hoarse and scratchy from disuse. Pacifica looked up to see Mabel standing in front of them, the girl hardly looked affected by their means of escape, unlike the two of them. “it takes a little getting used to.” Slowly, the other girl sat herself down, none of her usual grace present as she slumped to the grassy floor.

“W-what _was that_?” Gideon asked, still trembling.

Mabel’s eyes had lost their luminous blue colour, reverting back to their natural brown. She stared at Gideon blankly. “Teleportation.” She answered simply, tone devoid of anything. “I didn’t have enough power to get anyone else out, and we’re not that far from the hideout.”

Mabel’s head dipped and her eyes scrunched closed. “Dipper was always better at teleporting than me.” she whispered, “I bet he could have taken us all the way across town.”

Gideon and Pacifica traded a look. This was the first time in almost a month that Mabel had spoken, and definitely the first time she had spoken of her twin. Seeing her curled up against a tree trunk, her arms wrapped around her legs, it was hard to connect her with their past tormentor. 

“We had better start moving.” Pacifica said slowly, after giving Mabel a moment. The others nodded in agreement, and with Mabel’s help they managed to pull themselves up. “We need somewhere safe to hold up for a while.” She continued quietly.

“But where? Half the town is destroyed and the other half is filled with nightmares!” Gideon squinted up at the red-marred sky.

“…I know a place.” Mabel spoke up, “Dipper and I have dozens of little hideouts all over Gravity Falls, filled with heaps of magical items and books and supplies.”

As one, Gideon and Pacifica turned to look at her in disbelief. “And we’re only finding out about these places now? _Why_? Mabel, they could have helped!”

Something dark flickered in the girl’s eyes. “They were _ours_ , okay?” she spat, “Mine and Dipper’s. Forgive me if I didn’t want to give up one of the last things we had that was untouched.” She crossed her arms defensively, “Besides, Will knows where most of them are, I couldn’t be sure that he hadn’t already ransacked them looking for us, or set traps.”

Pacifica sighed tiredly, and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Look, I’m sorry, that was rude of me to just snap at you like that. Is there anyway to tell if Will has been to any of them? Some spell or something?”

Mabel frowned, “I’m not sure, and it’s not like I have the power to check anyway.”

“What do you mean?” Gideon asked, “You just teleported us out of the hideout! That’s magic.”

Mabel gave him a look that was both parts scornful and amused. It was the most normal she had looked in a long time. “That, pumpkin,” she said, “was the last bit of magic I had left in me. I wasn’t magical before we got Will, all my power came from him originally, and was stored in my crystal.” She gestured at her tattered headband, and they noticed that the blue gem was now dull and grey.

“I was hoping to keep it so I could save Dipper, but, well…I suppose getting us out of that hell-hole was as good a use as any.” Mabel pulled the headband off of her and ran her fingers over the lifeless gem. 

“You…weren’t magical before?” Gideon asked, intrigued despite himself. Mabel and Dipper rarely revealed anything about themselves, and even when they did let something slip, there was a ninety percent chance they were lying.

Mabel snorted. “Dipper was, I wasn’t. It’s why I summoned Will in the first place.” She tossed the headband to the side. “Dipper could do so many things even before we got Will, he was so powerful.” Her eyes turned wistful and a small smile tugged at her cracked lips.

“He loved magic so much, it was the only thing we didn’t share back then, but he always tried to include me in his spells. Always made sure that I knew that he didn’t care that I couldn’t do magic with him. That I was special just because of who I was.” She chuckled.

“The older we got, the better he was, and I was…jealous, just a little. Not of him, but of his magic. I felt like it was taking my brother from me. So I looked for a way to give myself powers as well. When we got to Gravity Falls and we found that journal, it showed how to summon a creature of infinite power. I did it without Dipper knowing and chained Will to us. We…we syphoned off Will’s energy and used it to give me powers, and enhance Dipper’s own. That’s why Dipper has always been better than me at magic,” she looked up at them, “that’s why he always seemed so much stronger than me.”

Pacifica nodded as she absorbed all this. Gideon let out a small, sad chuckle. “And here I thought he was stronger than you just because Will had a crush on him, and gave him more power.”

Mabel snorted, “I wouldn’t be surprised if the little fucker did that. He always had a sick obsession with my brother.” Her sneer faltered, “That’s probably why…He always followed Dipper around like a puppy, I thought he just feared me more. I was always the more physically violent towards him, Dipper preferred a much subtler form of tormenting him. He liked to use his words to mess with someone, twist their minds and screw with their emotions.”

She sighed, closing her eyes. “Maybe that’s why Will liked him more though,” she mused. “they used similar methods.”

“What do you mean?”

“Will is a dream demon, _Paz_ ,” Mabel snidely said her nickname, “which means that for all his snivelling and grovelling he primarily uses mind manipulations to get what he wants. Dipper would have appealed to that side of him in a way none of us could.”

One of her hands unconsciously lifted away from her side, as if reaching for something, only to fall back in disappointment. It was not the first time Pacifica has seen Mabel do that, and it broke her heart, just a little, each time Mabel went to grasp a hand that was no longer there.

She had never really considered just what it must be like for the girl, to have lost the only person in the world that she had never been without. To have the only one she could rely on without fail not be there when she needed him most. She had always noticed, fleetingly, how closely Dipper and Mabel would stand together, how they would bump hands or shoulders unconsciously. As if there was some sort of magnetic pull between them. 

But never had she considered the ramifications of that dependence they had on each other to always be there.

“Come on,” she gestured at Gideon to take a hold of Mabel, “we’ve been out in the open for too long. Do you think you could lead us to the closest hideout?”

Mabel tilted her head, scanning the forest around them. It was terribly dark by this point, but she nodded, a sardonic smile appeared on her face. “It’s northwest.”

Pacifica felt her own lips twitch in answering amusement. “My lucky direction.” She giggled.

They walked for almost an hour before Mabel ordered them to stop.

The hideout was underground, the entrance hidden by a similar illusion spell that had covered their previous one, though this was much stronger. Only Mabel had been able to see it, and the brunette had taken the time to explain why they had not even noticed the hatch leading to the hideout.

“It’s blood-magic, only Dipper and me can see it because our blood was used to create the protective runes around this place.”

“So it should be safe from Will?” Gideon asked as they climbed swiftly down the ladder. Mabel’s face twisted horribly.

“No. All you need to be able to see it is our blood. Will would just have to brush either of our blood over his eye and it would be visible to him.”

None of them spoke. They did not want to contemplate the idea of Will cutting into Dipper to get his blood.

Gideon bit his lip, “Do…do you think…?”

Pacifica made an aborted motion to cut him off, but Mabel understood his question. “No…Dipper’s still alive.” She mumbled, one hand reaching up and clutching her breast, directly over her heart. “I would know if he wasn’t.” She caught their slightly dubious looks and smiled bitterly.

“That wasn’t just some stupid statement like the people in the movies make. Dipper and I have a…connection. A real magical connection. I might not be able to use magic anymore, but Dipper made this well before Will entered our lives. If one of us died the other would know, instantly. I don’t know what it would feel like, but the spell book we got it from said it would be similar to having your heart shredded. And while losing him hurt, it didn’t hurt like that. Knowing he’s alive is the only thing that’s kept me going so far.”

Pacifica bit her lip, “Well, as long as he’s alive, that’s good news.”

She knew though, that just because Dipper was alive did not mean he was _okay_. The twins had tormented Will horribly during their ownership of him, both physically and psychologically abusing him. If Will was even half as dangerous as the journals made him out to be, Dipper could very well be in constant agony at the dream demon’s hands.

Pacifica had never been close to either of the twins, her relationships with them merely being an extension of theirs and Gideon’s. She was an ally of her cousin’s, and therefore their enemy. She and Mabel interacted the most, with Pacifica acting as a buffer between the cruel girl and her adorable, innocent cousin.

But she had always admired Dipper for his calm and collected nature. Sure, he could be just as cruel as his sister, and often liked to mess with them just for the heck of it, but he did not go out of his way to antagonise them. Out of the two of them, Dipper was the easiest to handle. He was meticulous and ordered, keeping Mabel’s passion balanced with his tact.

She did not enjoy the idea of him being tortured by Will.

“Yeah, sure.” Mabel said, clearly sharing her sentiments about Dipper’s likely well-being. Pacifica winced.

“We should get some sleep,” she suggested, to clear the awkwardness away.

# OoO

It had been almost two weeks since they had taken residence in the twins’ hideout, and Pacifica was glad to see that Mabel had not retreated back into her numbness. The other girl was far from back to normal, but she was speaking more, and had taken to giving them a crash-course on any and all topics they came across.

At first, the other girl had been strictly against them so much as touching the books that lined the walls of the bunker, and Pacifica and Gideon were polite enough to respect her wishes. But eventually, Mabel had come around and realised that the only way to stop Will and get her brother back was to let them read through Dipper’s books.

And they literally _were_ Dipper’s books, Pacifica realised the second she had cracked one open. The whole thing was filled with the boy’s flowing handwriting, with notes and diagrams and little anecdotes and observations. It was absolutely incredible.

She had known the two of them were heavily involved in the supernatural events that surrounded the town, but to learn just how much information Dipper had accumulated over the years was humbling. The boy truly was an impressive scholar.

So while she and Gideon tackled the books, Mabel set about making bunker more habitable, checking through the food and other supplies, clearing away all the clutter – which was not much – and reinforcing the wards. 

It had scared them half to death when they had walked in on her cutting into her own hand and rubbing blood over the walls, but after she had explained to them that with her blood she could boost the power of the protective runes and keep them safer, they had calmed down.

Gideon had still insisted on wrapping her wound though.

They settled into a sort of tender harmony.

But like all things, it did not last. 

Pacifica should have known that Will would inevitably find them. And she was not nearly as surprised as she should have been when three weeks after they had found this bunker, the wards shattered.

The three of them had leapt to their feet, grabbed their emergency packs and headed to the back exit – _“Dipper always insisted on having a contingency plan for everything”_ – and they smuggled themselves back out into the forest.

They had sprinted for almost an hour, spurred on by the unknown consequences of getting captured, as Mabel led them towards another hideout. 

Again, this one was hidden by extensive wards. But for now it was safe.

The pattern continued for almost six months. They would be found by Will’s nightmares, forced to evacuate, and would stumble their way to another hideout. Though Pacifica could no longer bring herself to feel safe even when they reached the next haven, because the time between discoveries was getting shorter and shorter, and she knew that eventually they would run out of places to go. 

Mabel never mentioned it, but they could tell that the brunette was having more and more trouble getting them out each time. They all knew that time was running out.

The only good news was that each new hideout was similarly stuffed full of Dipper’s books. 

And it was at their fourth hideout that Gideon finally found the jackpot of information. They had been cleaning it, when the smaller boy had tripped and busted through a false wall, revealing a room filled with more books. But it was what was in the books that left them almost crying with joy.

There were books upon books upon books filled with information on one topic.

Will Cipher.

Dipper was a genius, and a seriously motivated individual. When he found something that piqued his interest, he did not stop until he understood that something down to its last molecules. 

His notes consisted of every little interaction he had ever had with Will, there were whole books just filled with his musings over the demon, pages and pages of observations.

And while some of his writings turned Pacifica’s stomach – delving into Dipper’s mind was much like jumping into a horror movie – she could not deny that his information was giving them the first glimpse of hope they had had in a long time.

If – no, _when_ – they rescued Dipper and stopped Will, she would kiss the boy for being such a nerd. 

Mabel was thumbing through one of the books, a mixed expression on her face. “I never knew he did all this,” she said quietly, something much like betrayal colouring her tone. Pacifica figured that for twins who shared everything, finding out Dipper had been keeping such things from her would be a blow.

“Maybe he didn’t know how you would react?” She suggested hesitantly. “I mean, reading through some of this…it’s quite clear he was…well…”

“Obsessed with Will?” Gideon spoke up from where his nose was buried in his own book. Pacifica shot him a quelling look that he completely missed. “I mean, it’s clear that Dipper was fascinated by Will, half of these things are just little quirks he noticed. And some of the writings are so jumbled, like he was just writing whatever came to his head. Like this:”

He cleared his throat, oblivious to the darkening mood of the two girls.

“ _I sometimes wonder just what is going through his head. There are moments, when he thinks no one is looking, where he changes. His posture straightens, he stops crying, and he looks like he would love to take a knife to Mabel’s throat. I find it absolutely fascinating. It is so easy to forget that he is a demon_ – a powerful demon, sorry – _and underestimate him. I catch myself wondering if he is really as weak as he portrays himself, if that snivelling cowardly attitude is real, or if he is just playing the game long-term. I won’t underestimate him, either way._ ”

Gideon shuffled through a couple of pages, and picked up reading again.

“ _I caught him looking at me again today. It disturbs me how often he actually does that. I cannot help but feel like he is constantly assessing me, analysing my strengths and weaknesses, but at the same time, I find it intoxicating_ – seriously, ‘intoxicating’ – _whenever I catch that gleam in his eye. It reminds me that chained as he is, he is a threat to myself and my sister, the whole world really. The journals warned of his power, and even though I can feel it through the amulet, I somehow know that he is capable of more._ ”

His eyes skimmed through more pages.

“ _I know he is dangerous, but I cannot help myself. I know I am growing obsessed_ – see, he admits it! – _Mabel would be ashamed of me if she knew just how much time I spent studying him, but I cannot stop. The more I unravel the more I get drawn in. I fear this might be a plan of his, to trick me. What makes it worse is that I know he is growing more obsessed with me as well. He is possessive of my attention, and hates when I do not pay him notice, in particular, he hates whenever I mention Pacifica. Of course, he does not show it often, but I have seen the hints of red in his eye. I do not know what would happen if he ever got loose._ ”

As Gideon’s voice trailed off, the three of them descended into tense silence. Gideon seemed to realise that perhaps reading so much of Dipper’s inner musing was not a good idea, as Mabel snapped her own book closed and stalked out of the hidden room. “Oh, great going Gid.” Pacifica snapped. 

“What?” he shrugged helplessly.

“Yes, let’s tell the emotionally unstable girl that her twin had an unhealthy fixation with the demon that now has him captive in his floating pyramid in the sky. I’m sure that will not end in some form of disaster.”

Gideon held up his hands, “Oh come on Paz, you have to admit that this isn’t something we can ignore. As far as I can tell, Dipper and Will have some disgustingly weird obsession with each other, which means that he’s probably going to be fine up there.”

“Fine?” she spat, eyes narrowing.

Gideon nodded, “Think about it, if Will’s so interested in Dipper than the chances of him, you know, killing him are so much slimmer. Which means that we have more time to come up with a way to save him and stop Will.”

“There are worse things than death, Gideon!” she hissed, carefully to keep her voice down lest Mabel overhear. “Do you have any idea what Will _could_ be doing to Dipper right now? He’s been up there for almost seven months, cuz! I doubt he’s living in the lap of luxury!”

“Well, I never said he’s safe, I just meant that we’ve got more time.”

“Yeah,” Pacifica snarled, her hands bunching into fists. “and in that ‘time’ Will could be doing unspeakable things to him. Honestly Gideon, do you have any idea why it’s never a good idea to let an obsessive person be around the one they’re obsessed with! From what we’ve gathered from Mabel, and Dipper’s notes, it’s clear that Will was interested in Dipper in a more than an intellectual way!”

“What are you talking about?”

Pacifica almost threw her hands up in frustration, finally voicing the fears that had been plaguing her since she had discovered Will had kidnapped Dipper. “I mean, that for all we know, Will could have been _raping_ Dipper every day for the last seven months while we ran around down here like headless chickens!” She stepped closer to him and snatched the book out of his hands, ignoring the sudden paling of his skin as she ruthlessly disassembled his worldview.

“I mean that for all we know Will is mentally destroying the Dipper we know and turning him into some sort of bloody pet for his own amusement! I mean, that we know next to nothing about what is happening to Dipper, and the sooner we figure out a way to save him the better he’ll be. And rubbing this stuff,” she flapped the book in front of him aggressively. “in Mabel’s face is not helping matters.”

“I…”

“You think she wants to know just how deeply Will was affecting her brother _before_ he was kidnapped? You think that’s going to make her not feel like absolute crap, seeing as she had no clue about this? You might as well as told her that Dipper is with a person who is in crazy-love with him, and simultaneously hates him and wants to make him suffer.”

She finally stopped her rant, and took several deep breaths. Gideon’s face was twisted in abject horror and guilt, as well as queasiness. Pacifica deflated, as she placed the damning book back on the table. “I’m sorry, it’s been a tense couple of days. I’m going to find Mabel, just…don’t read that stuff around her again, okay Gid?”

She left before she could see his stiff nod.

Mabel was almost on the other side of the bunker, sitting on one of the beds, in her hands was the book she had carried out with her.

Pacifica hovered just off to the side, wondering how to go about this.

“This is all my fault.” Mabel whispered. The blonde girl blinked in surprise. “I was the one who summoned Will in the first place, I was the one who brought him into our world, I was the one that let him hang around Dipper so much, I was the one who failed to noticed just how twisted up he became.” Her fingers tightened around the book.

“If I had just paid a little more attention to him, if I had not been so caught up in all my own stupid little schemes maybe I could have spotted it and stopped it before this all happened.”

“Oh Mabel,” Pacifica lowered herself beside the other, but did not dare to touch. “you can’t blame yourself for this.”

“Yes, I can,” the brunette said stubbornly, “I know Dipper. I know how obsessed he can get over things that interested him. I should have known that Will would get to him.” She wiped at her eyes, and Pacifica knew that she was crying. “I basically handed him a nerd’s wet-dream of information in a triangle form and let him have free reign. I should have been there for him, so that he wouldn’t have done this.” She held up the book in disgust.

“He should have been able to tell me, not felt the need to squirrel away his obsession until it consumed him. I made him feel like he couldn’t tell me. I made him feel like he had to keep this like some dirty little secret.”

Unable to stand the tears now falling down Mabel’s face, Pacifica instinctively wrapped her in a tight hug. “It’s as much our fault as it is yours. We were the ones that Will tricked into freeing him. We were the ones that found the spell to sever your control over him. If we hadn’t listened to him, if we had paused for second to think that maybe he was the bad guy, none of this would have happened.”

Mabel was shaking in her grasp. “I just…I just keep feeling like this is karma, you know? For all the terrible things we did over the years. All the horrible, dark things we would do to people. It was always me, you know?” 

She swallowed harshly, “I was always the one to fly off the handle, and Dipper would reel me back in. I would be the one to want to hurt others, and because he’s my brother, Dipper would help me plan our schemes, because he wanted me to not get caught. He wanted to protect me.”

Mabel threw the book away from her in anger. “Now this is my penance. They took the one good thing in my life, the one person I love with all my heart, they took him from me and I didn’t even get to say goodbye. Will just swooped in and grabbed Dipper and they were gone before I could blink. If I was nicer, if I didn’t do all those terrible things maybe he would still be here.”

Pacifica held on tighter as Mabel continued to break down in her arms. The other girl clung to her desperately. Somehow, she knew that Mabel was imagining someone else holding her.

“I just _want him back_.” She sobbed, “I want him back. I want him back. Please, I need my brother back, I can’t – I _can’t_ without him!”


End file.
